Tranquility is Over-rated.

Writer's Block: Left Behind

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 19:23:22 GMT

What do you want done with your body after you die?

I want to be cremated. Whichever of us dies first (me or Rob), we are going to keep the ashes of the other, and then whoever dies last will get mixed with the others' ashes. Seriously. Cocktail style, it'll be awesome. Then, our freaked out children can sprinkle us wherever the fuck they want.

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:48:08 GMT

Rome is awesome.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 15:07:32 GMT

http://community.livejournal.com/basicbases/2790505.html#cutid1

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 16:31:26 GMT

Rhye,

In case you're wondering, I did see the note you left in your journal for me a month or so ago. To be honest, there is very little I could say, even if I wanted to, in response to it, hence why I have never seen fit to reply.

If I am the horrible person you paint me to be, then quite honestly you're better off without my friendship. I refuse to take all of the blame you have tried to make me shoulder. I have my faults, and I am quite aware of them, but I am in no way the bitch who takes great pleasure in picking people down to their bare bones that you portray me as.

We all have to do what we can to get on in this life. This is what I have to do to get on in mine. I've removed you from my friendslists on my three journals here on LJ. I hope you understand, and I wish you well in all your future ventures.

- Kirsten

This is how the World Died

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 15:43:58 GMT

It is a sunrise and a sunset.

A beginning and an end all at once and all together, jumbled together into some semblance of a day, of a time. The harsh lines of where one has been spliced with the other should be ugly and ragged, but they are not. They are beautiful, and clear, just like the scar that puckers on His shin where bone exploded through flesh on a summer's day as He Himself had careened through the sky, so sure that that He could fly, because after all, is that not what youth is?

False hope and shattered dreams?

He remembers the smell of sunshine and sweat, the prickle of hair between tiny, pudgy fingers as His father carries him to the end of the world and back again on broad, tanned shoulders, because He is His father and His father can do anything. He is a god amongst men, and He is so proud, so proud that He can lay claim to this man. This man is His.

And as He looks back at life from His deathbed, seeing the frayed lines of that sunrise and sunset patched raggedly together, he knows that He was not His at all. He was no one's save His own.

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:46:42 GMT

Stealing from Meru and Nell:

Name a muse, and I'll tell you their sex life/attitude towards sex.

Because I can't be arsed doing them all.

Abby ~

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 12:32:33 GMT

Meme - since I've not done one in forever

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 09:35:01 GMT

Pick a muse, and I'll tell you something about them you didn't already know.

Fen and Fin

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 13:17:05 GMT

Fenella and Finlay are both Celtic names, meaning, amongst other things 'white', 'fair', 'noble', 'soldier' and 'blonde-haired'. Fin's name is quite amusing for the sad case that is moi, as it could be taken literally as white/black. Black and white. Hmm. What could I do with that? :p

I'm in the middle of doing a small ficlet with these two because I wanted to bounce them off one another and see what happened, the ultimate goal being that the writers block would end. It's about half way done, maybe. I have a few ideas about Fen now. Things never seem to be as they first appear with my lot. I have an idea about them, and then it changes and suddenly we have a complete 180 role reversal, Evie being the case in point. She was meant to be a snooty, upper class Brit who hated blood and anything that could be considered messy. She's now a recruitment advisor/agent for the CIA who very much likes to kill and apparently used the first impression as an undercover detail.

So Fen seems very sweet, almost child-like naive, and yet I wonder...what can I do here? How can I make her who I want her to be? When I started the drabble with Fin, it became glaringly apparent, and I think it may turn out quite well. The two of them have an almost sibling relationship going on, without any of the bickering really. Very close, very easy company. It's rather cute.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 14:55:13 GMT

*blows dust off the character snippet journal :p*

Wow, not used this in forever and a day.

Olivia.

Olivia is a character that I very, very rarely use. Not because I don't like her, hell, I adore her. But she's hard for me to play for a variety of reasons. She's a very reserved person, much happier with a few people than in a crowd. She refuses point blank to talk to anyone unless they either interest her or they ask specifically to talk to her. She is certainly not my social bunny. The only people she has talked to since she was created over a year ago have been Ben, Taran and most recently Angelica for an hour or so.

She loves a debate, to put forward a point of view and to argue it well, most of all enjoying making people think rather than simply accept pre-concieved ideals. The worst thing, for her, is perhaps complacency, and accepting something simply because you feel you don't have the influence to change it. She'd rather try and fail than not try at all.

I don't know why she got the this point of near hermit, of purposely excluding herself and detachment. I think it probably has to do with a great love affair, or perhaps a family matter. She had a younger brother whom she watched drown while she was young; she couldn't save him and has always blamed herself. Maybe, says the amateur psychologist, she cuts herself off so she doesn't feel she will let others down the way she feels she let him down.

Olivia is unerringly straight, and has a crush, and no I am not telling you on who. She'll never make a move on him, though. Not her style. I can't see her ever saying 'I love you', but I've been wrong in the past about shit like this and I could be wrong again.

Her kids, Joss and Claudia, represent different facets of her personality, of who she was and is. I imagine that Olivia in her university days as something of a hell raiser, an activist, and I think that her convictions would probably have earned her more than a few arrests and nights in the cells. Her paper is her baby. She worked so hard to get up the ladder to get where she is today, and that single, bloody mindedness and determination are probably what keep her going even when people like JP decide to be utter shits to her.

Claudia, to me, seems to be that younger!Olivia who wants to prove herself. She works her way through University by stripping in a high class club. Olivia publically despairs of her, denouncing the work as irresponsible and unbecoming of her, but is secretely pleased that her daughter shows the same gumption as she herself did in working her own way through college instead of living off handouts from mummy, which she could quite easily have done. Instead, Claudia told her mother to keep the money unless she really got in trouble and pays her way through her half-naked endeavours.

Where Claudia is set apart from her mother is that she is a terrible flirt, and it quite often backfires on her. She flirted with Noah, though he is quite obviously gay and very much in love with her best friend. She sees nothing wrong with it, it's part of her personality and I doubt she realises it's flirting or at the least over-friendly and over-familiar. She simply sees it as being friendly and warm. Really, no concept of boundaries or personal space at all. She has her mothers brains, but tends to prefer to party than study, and will always pull an all nighter before an exam or paper is due rather than study. This leads to her getting fairly decent marks, but nowhere what she could get if she applied herself.

Joss, on the other hand, reminds me of Olivia as she is right now. Very quiet, very reserved, very much of the not-talking-unless-poked. Much more serious than his sister, he falls quite neatly into the elder brother role, but not in the over-protective sense. I think he gave that up after a few million 'fuck off's'. I have...no idea what he does. I get the feeling he's in a creative field of work, much like his mother, and occassionally features in her paper, but that's not his main focus or expertise. Joss, though I created him a lot earlier, I actually know less about him than Claudia, simply because he has only ever talked to Erica, and that was months ago. He. Will not. Talk. Claudia will quite happily poke someone or anyone, Olivia and Joss are the complete opposite. They are of the need-to-be-poked set.

Older!Olivia, I have no idea about yet. She's still quite, she aged well, she now has a series of publications. She has never, ever told her children who their father is. They have never seen her with a man they could guess to be involved with her, and she claims to not have boyfriends, merely lovers over the years. Personally, I think she's a bullshit liar, but we'll see.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 19:39:32 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She turned up one day and stirred up shit. She hung around with a gay man and bought shoes. This girl, she was mysterious. She never really let herself be known, and as a result, the person who should of known her didn't. She made mistakes. All she knew was a personality and how to play her and so they went with that, she and the girl.

One day, early on, the girl met a boy. They hit it off, and they kissed. But, the boy was having problems, and there was another girl, one that she liked that told her how much she loved the boy. How much she had always loved that boy. The girl felt bad and squirelled away her feelings, keeping them secret and hidden. She visited the boy once more, when he was not himself, and she realised no matter where he was in his life, that she loved him. She stayed away from then on.

Later, the girl met another guy. He wasn't the boy, but he was sweet and kind, and they fell in love. They made plans to marry and then...there was a storm. The storm was of hearts and minds, and it eventually tore them apart. She was bruised and breaking, when one day, the first boy returned, offering her comfort and solace. And she tried so very hard to hide her feelings. But, it was all for naught, because he returned her affections. They wooed and are so in love.

In falling in love, they broke the other girl. They never wanted to, and it hurt, but it happened. They tried to make things better and all they got was pain. The first girls brother came, and he fell for the other. But, he was seen as inferior. Nothing. A way to cause her more pain and so he stopped trying to win the fair ladies heart. But, a flame remains.

Months on, a similar story with a new heroine. Girl meets guy. Girl falls in love. Girl doesn't have the guts to tell guy and gets herself in all shades of fucked up. These stories have no happy endings yet. The first because one creator refuses to let go of an obsession. The second because the girl tries so hard to please that she fucks everything up. This girl has gone from the drama because she cannot be a part of it anymore. When she returns, I hope everything will be better.

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 20:08:38 GMT

There is nothing quite so wonderful as a tattoo artist/body piercer who loves cookies and can hold serious conversations as well as ones about the wonder of Jack in the same breath.

I adore her.

Issues!

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:58:00 GMT

This is turning into the Cameron Kinneas show. Swear to god. Because, first off, I shall talk of her. Again. The bitch.

Oh. But first, some people just ask to be mocked. Cuntrag. May they contract a painful and debilitating disease and die a painful death. Oh, and if, by any chance, you decide to come around here, wankpot? Don't worry, you'll get more of the same.

God, some people are just cunts. To quote Fai, "Big floppy cunts that couldn't give a dick a squeeze if their life depended on it."

Love that girl.

And because I can never find it now: Invite page.

Thank you Meru.

Anyway. Cameron. So, I'm on the train home last night, some high quality Avril Lavigne (HAHA ABBY :P) on the CD player when track 12 comes on and she starts to cry. Slipped Away.

Lyrics:

I miss you
I miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me
Cuz I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh

I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened you passed by
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

So, naturally, because she has the whole *puts on prissy voice that sounds NOTHING like Cameron* "I don't HAVE feelings, I'm not going to love anyone EVER." I figure, oh, some bloke fucked her over and that's why she's all like that, *petpet*. But, not really. Not in a romantic sense anyway.

She watched her da die in her timeline. He was shot, murdered and she watched him die in her arms. They were apparently really close, more like best friends than father/daughter. And that's what that song reminds her of. She has a HUGE thing with abandonment, she was only 14 at the time. So, now she pretty much doesn't want to love anyone because she's afraid they'll leave, whether through death like her da, or of their own free will. But, it's not really working. Cause she's falling, though she is trying her damndest not to, and now I know why she's being so weird.

Cammie? I'm sorry for bitching at you for fucking people. You little bebe. <3

Meep.

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 15:36:53 GMT

Cameron. You are going to kill me. Or I am going to kill you. One or the other. It is not NATURAL to be this horny. Really. And if you think you are fooling anyone with this "Hahaha, I don't DO feelings bullshit", you are really fucking stupid. For I am the almighty creator, and I'm going to see him host and I'ma tell her. And I'ma tell him. So stick THAT in your crack pipe and smoke it, oh horny one.

HAHAHA.

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 13:36:42 GMT

Ok, Cameron utterly owns my soul. There are not many muses who make themselves so...there for me so quickly, but she along with Lai, Dox, Nics and Ili is one of the few. I think it may be the fact that she's so fucking weird, but so cute at the same time. She has a fucking POLE for pole dancing in the middle of her bedroom, likes light bondage and seriously has no problem with going after what/who she wants. And the PEARLS. My god, the pearls. And the reason she keeps her hair long. My god, I adore her.

...She currently has Dox upside down on the pole. SO AMUSED.

The FL bebe's!

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 12:34:56 GMT

Ok, here they are.

Cameron Kinneas shootfromthelip

Paige Almasy nightbirdflying

Jack Loneka gonethedream

Raena Huntington exquisitepoison

Reno Flannigan illuminatedsoul

Mhaighan Anderson immerseinshadow

Maddox sanubiasunshine

Amira De Christa moral_compass

Bryn Travere lustforsanity

Fallon Engle charmingparadox

Daily Muse News

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 16:03:04 GMT

Derry is currently bouncy bouncy happy hyper go weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The promise of Belfast on Monday and that she will soon be in the same timezone as Vez has worked wonders.

Nico has stopped talking. Completely. This worries me for several reasons. One, she NEVER shuts up. Two, she is my most productive muse. She's even snarking at Darvas. Bad state of affairs. I can sense locking in the closets with the moose, Collard.

Olivia has pronounced them all Stupid Wankers on her and JP's return and is on the roof reading a book.

JP and Derry are bemoaning their lack of paid accountness. NO. You have gave me no bunny, hence no pictures. That is the way the cookie crumbles around here, bitches.

Cameron is my bebe and I am going to have her children, but not. Currently standing on a timeline, jumping back and forth. "Past! Present! Past! Present!"

Paige is looking at people disdainfully and proclaiming loudly that she never asked for this fucking job and it sucks rancid monkey balls.

Dox is under a motorcycle, topless, covered in engine oil and I want to lick him.

Laios is also scarily quiet.

I am now bored. I shall maybe update later.

Mon, 31 May 2004 20:13:00 GMT

*sniggers* It really, really is no wonder Evie and Derry hate each other. Woooo, muse revelations!

Mon, 31 May 2004 12:13:55 GMT

I think someone is going to have to surgically remove the guinness and JD from Lai and Derry. Seriously.

Wed, 26 May 2004 17:21:19 GMT

I have to draw again. Right now, I have Maddie in my head, sitting with Sienna, her daughter, and they are adorable. Sienna looks nothing like her mother or father, they were both dark where she's all blond curls and blue eyes. So sweet.

And Ty and Rae. They BEG to be drawn.

Raena Huntington (FL)

Wed, 26 May 2004 09:06:49 GMT

She is so incredibly fucked up, probably more so than her mother to be honest. She's got the same disorder as her mother, she's a sociopath, thought whether this is because it's simply present in her or she learned to be one through copying her mother I don't know. She also has a fear of doctors in the extreme. If you're a doctor, it's very likely she'll stay away from you, or, if you do go near her, she will be weilding something sharp and pointy.

Raena is beautiful, classically so. She has long, glossy black hair and intense blue eyes, which, if she's using them to stare coldly at you, can be quite unnerving. She is slightly obsessive compulsive, border line anorexic because of an off the cuff remark by an asshole she slept with, but she has THE most perfect figure, and I am quite jealous.

When she's dressing for herself, she has simple tastes, usually quite classic. Today, she's lounging about in jeans and one of Ty's oversized shirts, the sleeves rolled up and is barefoot on the sofa eating an apple with wet hair. *shakes head*

Ty took her virginity when she was 12. Both of them see Rae as being Ty's, completely and utterly in every way possible. In some ways, they disturb me, but they are so SWEET in others. It is strange. If they weren't brother and sister, I think they'd be perfect. I can't get it out of her if she was willing when Ty took her, but, I know she cried, and now she sees it as him 'breaking her in'.

At one point, I think about 14 or so, she got pregnant. Max found out, knew it was Ty's and proceeded to kick her in the stomach until she lost the child. In a way, good, in others, bad. It meant that every day, sometimes several times a day until they got seperated, Max fucked her from that point onwards.

But, she will tell you herself. She is Ty's and Ty is hers and if you fuck with that, she WILL fuck your shit up. That's just the way it is, neither of them see anything wrong with it. He's very protective of her, and for all her bravado, I think she does need protecting.

Like I said, the most fucked up muse EVER.

Tue, 25 May 2004 14:48:20 GMT

HAHAHA. CARLEN AND I OWN YOUR SOULS.

Well, actually, Ty and Rae own mine. Brother and sister who are conducting a hugely incestuous relationship. Sick, in fun, fun ways.

Darvas came to see Nico today. She spent the visit clinging to him. I had no idea she was so damn lonely. Maybe I should start letting her post again in the lair or something. Currently asking why Dion bounced. I have admitted total ignorance. I do not know why. And no, I am not letting you offer Marion money for his playlist, Nico.

Also, she and Xanthe decided to celebrate their happiness at Xanthe getting together with Bob by dancing nekkid in the kitchen. I have NO idea why. *shakes head*

Thu, 20 May 2004 15:22:35 GMT

Emilio is so broken. I have never SEEN him like this, EVER. I always thought of him as heartless, as someone who didn't give a fuck. But...now I know he's not like that at all. He cares, just as much as the next person. The only reason his fellow lawyers label him as 'morally void' is due to the fact that he'll go that little further in stretching the truth than the rest of them, but he will never knowingly lie in court. Or, indeed, in life. He holds truth, honestly, loyalty and integrity in very high regard. He just will twist the truth in court that little bit more than the others, and can do so even as he stands on increasingly shakey ground with a smile.

He will do anything to win a case for his clients, and as a result, he is EXTREMELY saught after. He's one of the premier lawyers in his field of expertise. When he was in college, he split his time between the moot court room, and the gym. He was on the college boxing team, and still keeps up with his training. His part time job was playing piano in a little bar, the dim and smokey atmospheric type of place, and singing. He is fantastic. I currently have him singing "Kissing a Fool" in my head, and I am nearly weeping. He is amazing. I love him.

Character Ramblings

Wed, 19 May 2004 07:08:01 GMT

The Circle of Gods.

At the top of the tree is Zeus. The Almighty, the one God. He is supreme and he rules overall. But, in order to rule efficently, he recognised the need for help, and so, he has lesser Gods and Goddess' below him to help with the governance of the world. There is a God or Goddess for everything. This way, the world runs smoothly, as there is one person seeing to each human foil that needs observation and guidance, rather than a supreme deity trying to do it all. Zeus tends to become involved only when necessity dictates.

He has many sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, and it is his family that make up the vast array of Gods and Goddess' that constitute Olympus and therefore the religious system of this world. Worship of Olympus and it's denizens has waned in recent years, much to their joy, as it leaves them free to help humanity only when they are in dire need. For the most part, humans are left to govern themselves.

Law and lawyers are seen to be even more important that religion and Gods, such is their power over life and death. A good lawyer can get you fortune. A bad lawyer can get you killed. Prayer is generally only found where the masses want something. The worth of the request is assessed by the relevant deity before a decision is made on whether or not to grant the request.

Demetria Ruvelas soultostone (user pics Diana Kruger)

Demetria is the oldest daughter of Zeus, and looks very much like her mother, Hera. Up to a point, she was the perfect daughter, sister and friend. She doted on her younger siblings. But, Demi is vain, and jealous, and when Ili was born, she wasn't best pleased. As a result, she became bitter and twisted. If you look very closely, just above Ili’s right eye, she has a scar from where Demi flung a knife at her in a rage. Yes, they’re a loving family. ^^;; Demi ordains jealousy, fitting, as she is herself so envious. She can fan a rage in anyone she so desires, and frequently does for her own amusement. She is an accomplished liar to say the least and can make you believe whatever she wants you to.

Alexander Ruvelas immortaldisdain (user pics of Stephen Dorff)

Alex is Demetria’s husband. One thing to note about this couple, separately they’re bad, but together they are infinitely worse. He hates his wife. He's more often than not in the company of techno_goddess.

Also a god from Olympus, he rules over greed. The little man urging you to gamble that last $20, have that other piece of pie. ‘Cept, you know, he’s not so little. ^^ Greed and jealousy are a bad combination for the person they’re inflicted upon, but they make excellent bed partners.

Ilithya Siannas hot_fuss__ (user pics of Fenanda Tavarez)

Ili is the youngest daughter of Zeus, and his second to last child, his last with Hera. Lucky child, she presides over Life and all that it encompasses. She's extremely cynical, a bit of a bitch, but she tends to love, like the rest of her family, openly and completely.

Laios Patroclus bitteraffection (user pics of Ewan McGregor)

Laios is a demi god, the product of an affair between Zeus and a mortal woman. He is not well liked in Olympus, as half casts are frowned upon, even Zeus’ half casts. He can be extemely jealous, and a complete bastard if he feels you've fucked him or someone he cares about over. The way he works is weaving threads between people to tie them to one another, but the thread has to already be present for him to work his magic.

Nicole Collard displaced_angel (user pics of Sarah Michelle Gellar)

Nico is strange. She is close to a lot of people, and will do some of the stupidest things imaginable to make them happy, without giving a thought to the consequences. It has meant, more than once, that she's hurt people in trying to help others. There's a shit load I could say on her, the fact that she has a heart condition that's pretty much a ticking timebomb, that she has scars for each year of her life because of operations to try and extend her lifespan. Studies Interior design and architecture by day, working at night on building plans to find infiltration routes. Because of the bleak prognosis, she tends to be rather headstrong and wade in without thinking.

Olivia Osbourne poisonedshadows (user pics of Esther Canadas)

Olivia is the thinker of my group, and the one most likely to actually have something intelligent to say as opposed to out and out cursing. Which tends to be a mainstay with my characters, apparently. She’s a editor of a major newspaper, and as such has strong views and opinions. Olivia is extremely cynical and outspoken, to the point where she will be perfectly blunt, especially if she thinks you’re being an idiot. She questions everything, but the regular subject of her questioning is herself. She has a dark outlook on life, seeing it as nothing more that being born to procreate then rot away slowly, and she tends to admire people who are eternal optomists.

Francesca Deltori model_behaviour (user pics of Jessica Biel)

...this one I need to figure out now. >___> to be added to.

Mitchell Davies justiceandtruth (user pics of Jude Law)

Mitchell is an advocate. He has no powers, and he specialises in criminal law, enjoying the challenge it provides. He’s a great thinker, preferring logic and words to swords or guns, but if he is pushed too far, he will lash out. He’s a great friend, someone you can count on to get you out of a scrape, and a fantastic lawyer. To date, he’s never lost a case. Unlike Emilio, he has scruples about the types of cases he will take, and will generally only take on those clients he believes could be innocent, or who have what he deems a good excuse for executing the crime.

Emilio De Christa morally_void (user pics of Robert Downey Jnr.)

Emilio is also an advocate and works with his wife, Lisa, in their law firm. Unlike Mitchell, his speciality is in what he deems ‘dirty’ law; litigation, with a secondary interest in contract and criminal. He has power over persuasion, and has been known to use this to influence a jury in his favour. To Emilio, the crime doesn’t matter, he’ll defend anyone if the price is right, and morals to him don’t even come into the law. It’s about cold hard cash, simple as that. That said, he does have a surprisingly soft side, and anyone under his skin will have access to the complete teddy bear that’s underneath the hard exterior.

Baillie Carpenter social_menace (user pics of Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted)

Baillie is the resident sociopath, or so the label on her medical file says. She's the product of a fucked up childhood and an even worse system of care. She wasn't crazy before the powers that be drugged her to the moon, but something somewhere broke, and she's slightly less than sane now, though nowhere near as bad as the 'professionals' would have you believe. She is scarily intelligent, when she's not slacking off the meds or flaunting her 'label'.

Maddox Sayer sanubiasunshine (userpics Leonardo Di Caprio)

Cameron Edwards shootfromthelip (userpics Avril Lavigne)

Austin Edwards thestarlesssky (userpics Orlando Bloom)

Jack Deltori gonethedream (userpics Jonathan Rhys Meyers)

Ellis Deltori enrapturedminx (userpics Emma Watson)

Alessio De Christa musicfeedmysoul (userpics Ashton Kutcher)

Tabby Callaghan thekingofcats (userpics Connor Oberst)

Chai Matthews destitute_hope (userpics Daniel Johns)

Fri, 14 May 2004 16:38:16 GMT

Channelling Olivia far too much. Argumentative little bitch. Even Emilio is not this bad, and he's the resident argumentative shit head. *sighs* I adore her. But still, you're giving me a headache.